I probably should have expected it with Spider’s return, but I really wasn’t ready for it: Seeing auras, energy bodies, and energy connective lines and cords has moved from being something I can do with a little effort to being something I can stop doing with a little effort. And I do have to stop; it’s unspeakably beautiful and completely distracting, not to mention that it makes me stare at people, and the blast of information I get is pretty overwhelming. I’m a hazard to myself walking down the street that way. I see people who could use the help of what I do, and sometimes it’s nearly unbearable to not run up to them and offer. I see a lot of things I don’t really want to know, but I see even more good things. Happiness is breathtaking, especially when it’s shared. We’re all light, only barely contained in our skins, and it’s the nature of that light to reach out toward other light.
I can’t wander the city in that state and expect to not get hit by a car, but I can and do sit in my favorite park and soak it in. Hold a book, and no one notices a blank stare. When I go out to feed the hoodies in the garden, I see the connections among them, the loose hierarchy led by the bold guy I feed from hand, all the interconnections. I can pick out mated pairs and follow how the hierarchy weaves through and among them. They’re teaching me by being there for me to observe and learn from. I’m feeling — and seeing now — the presence of the archangels again as well, something that hasn’t happened since I left New Orleans. I missed them more than I knew, and they always come when healing is about to become my focus.
I see them everywhere I go if I don’t have the awareness consciously dampened down. Being everywhere is kind of their deal, and I’ve always known them as beings of pure energy that accept forms as we envision them, to make connection easier for us. Now I’m clearly seeing them that way. Something very much like this:
I’ve restarted a guided meditation (found here, for free; I follow it up with this music, also free, to give me a little time to rest in the meditative state after) before I go to sleep. The immediate effect is remarkable: I normally sleep well, but it can take me an hour or so to get to sleep initially. After the meditation, I take out the earbuds, turn over, and go straight to sleep. I’ve been wearing my Louisiana opal (which contains all their colors), and a similar sense of calm and security falls over me when I put it on, minus the falling asleep.
I believe it’s a combination of forces that have stirred this seeing ability in such abundance — returning to shamanic work, the energy balancing being with Alec and Tam again gives me, the archangels’ return, and Spider’s re-entering my life. The usefulness of this to my work is already obvious. The limiting factor there has been not having work to do.
I asked if I’m needed to aid the victims of the Grenfell Tower fire, then sat in waiting for a sense or a direct response, but there’s been none so far. I’m still listening; conditions change, and if they do, I’m willing. As things pile up one after the next — add Finsbury Park to the growing stack — I’m starting to be more certain that helping London’s wounded city-spirit as I spoke with Louis about is going to be the work I can do. I’ve worked with city-spirits a few times before; it’s always a powerful experience, in part because our spirits — and our physical beings as well — are so deeply intertwined with city-spirits. They welcome love from us. I’ll need to go back soon and see if he wants to do some work together, or if I should just set out and introduce myself on my own.
Trips to Glasgow are going to be kind of mini-vacations for me — time to shed the serious stuff, good and stressful alike. Tam and Alec have what I need to get me out of my own brain for a while — beer and leftover takeaway for breakfast in bed, rolling around naked, some more-intense stress release, cheerful offers to find a Tory and spraypaint him/her/it bright yellow just for me. A day to get my head right, two days to enjoy it being that way. A good mix, and it quiets that skittery, time-to-pack-up-and-go feeling that has plagued my entire adult life.
Alec came back with me this time, and I decided it was time to up the ante with a trip to Culloden together. If he’s going exploring with me, he needs to not be freaked out by this stuff. I wasn’t expecting him to be, but assumptions are a bad idea where we’re going. I have a strong sense that what we’re capable of is a gateway to the ancestors and warrior dead, and they need to know him, to understand that he’s my partner in this, and to hear his voice from this side. It could make all the difference if I need help getting back.
He was a lot more excited than freaked out. His first question was if he’d see them.
Anything’s possible with him, but it wasn’t likely. “I’m not sure. But they’ll definitely see you, and that’s important.”
He didn’t see anything, but he seemed like he was feeling something. I left him to wander as he was called to while I did my silent work: That’s Alec. He’s the man I think is going to help me reach you. I trust him, so anything you see is all right and agreed to between us already. I decided to skip the part where he’s been gleefully referring to himself as my spirit ned. I honestly wasn’t sure I could explain that one.
The message came so clearly — and so loudly to my inner ear — that I literally staggered. Fortunately, no one including Alec was nearby, or it might have been interrupted.
Not that way. We’ll not have it. There are other ways. He knows them. Ask him.
He’d made his way back around to me by the time I was done. “My mum’s always said there were people on her side who died here. I don’t know if that’s so or not. But it feels like it just now.”
Nothing would surprise me any more these days. I told him what they’d said. It took him about five seconds of pondering before he lit up and informed me that he does indeed know another way. When we got home, he made a beeline for the sunroom, and I felt a little dumb. Of course. The plant spirits are likely to be pretty friendly to him. For reasons.
(art: Artwork by Daniel B. Holeman)